No touching of children, parents filing police reports: Male preschool teachers find support as they face stigma, distrust

SINGAPORE — In a preschool classroom, there are moments when young children seek affection, running eagerly to their teachers for a hug.
It is a scene familiar to any preschool educator, one that reflects the natural warmth children often show. And more often than not, teachers are inclined to hug the little ones. 
For Mr Mohamad Noorhisyam Rohani, who teaches at Kidya Childcare, though, there is always a moment of hesitation. 
Fighting against the natural instinct to return a child’s affection, he gives the child a gentle pat on the back before immediately putting some distance between him and his ward.  
This is because the rules for male preschool teachers are clear in this situation: No physical contact. 
The children may not understand the boundaries, so the male preschool teacher must carefully navigate them, mindful of how even a simple hug could be misconstrued. However, it does not make the situation any less conflicting and difficult.
“You know, children — they naturally want to hug you, and that’s just part of who they are. It’s hard to tell them, ‘Oh, we must avoid all physical contact.’ But I will try my best to hold back,” Mr Noorhisyam told TODAY. 
“For the kids, seeing a male teacher in the school is already a bit of a novelty, like a unicorn.
“And when we give off that distant vibe, the children might think, ‘Oh, we can’t play with this teacher. We can’t be friends with him.’ It creates this divide, which I feel isn’t fair to us.”
He was especially aware of his actions after hearing of male teachers in the industry getting complaints from parents regarding physical contact with their students. There have been times when these were reported to the police, and the teachers had to be investigated.
In sharing his concerns with his former polytechnic classmate Muhammad Hadi Kamal, also 31, both were keenly aware of the lack of support for their profession as males in a female-dominated industry, and there seems to be prevailing distrust of and stigma against male preschool teachers.
For starters, they have more rules governing their conduct, such as the “no physical touch” rule. They are also prohibited from performing sensitive routine care tasks such as showering the children and changing their diapers.
They cannot be alone with the children at any point, and another female staff member must be in the same area as them. 
Spurred by their shared experiences, Mr Noorhisyam said, “We felt we should do something about this so that no other male teachers would feel alone in their struggles.”
This led to the forming of Men in Preschools Singapore, a support group for male preschool teachers.
Roping in two more preschool teachers, Mr Malik Saiful Nizam Rosli, 27, and Mr James Eu Ming Han, 30, who both believe in their cause, Mr Noorhisyam and Mr Hadi officially launched the support group on Facebook and Instagram on Sept 9 in 2019. The four of them were schoolmates at Temasek Polytechnic.
Five years have passed, and the group now comprises 43 male educators. Most of them communicate regularly in a WhatsApp chat group. 
Over the years, there has also been an increase in male preschool teachers in the sector, who account for less than 1 per cent of all educators in the industry to date.
In response to TODAY’s queries, the Early Childhood Development Agency (ECDA) said that the number of male preschool educators in Singapore almost doubled over the past five years, from 130 in 2019 to 245 as of January 2024. 
“Male educators (in early childhood education) bring different strengths, perspectives and experiences that contribute to children’s holistic development, serving as positive male role models alongside their female counterparts,” the agency added.
It aims to raise awareness of early childhood career opportunities, foster respect for educators and highlight the valuable role of male professionals in the field.
Like many of his peers, Mr Malik, who teaches at My First Skool Circuit Road, said that managing parents’ perceptions has always been the main difficulty throughout his career.
Some parents — both fathers and mothers — would openly question the presence of a male teacher in the classroom, for example.
“They would say things like, ‘Males shouldn’t be working in a female-dominated industry like childcare’, because we are not as nurturing or caring as our female counterparts.
“I’ve heard terms like ‘paedophiles’ being thrown around, even from my secondary school friends. 
“Initially, it was disheartening because I’m genuinely passionate about being a preschool teacher. However, a part of me also wants to excel in my role and prove them wrong,” Mr Malik added.
As they go about their daily tasks on the job, there is often a sense of helplessness due to the restrictions on what they cannot do — the men in the support group also identified with this.
Mr Malik said: “Sometimes, it feels like we’re a burden to our colleagues because we can’t do anything if the child needs help in these areas. We have to wait for other female staff members to resolve them. 
“But we can do our best to offer help in other areas such as lifting and moving heavy items around, and taking care of the rest of the children in the classroom while the one group gets their routine care.” 
On this point, Mr Hadi, who is also the principal of Iyad Perdaus child development centre in Jurong East, stressed that it does not mean male preschool teachers should stand by idly in certain situations, such as when a child is having a tantrum.
“Many teachers in our support group have talked about complying with the rule of maintaining no physical touch. I always remind them that there is such a thing as ‘appropriate physical touch’ at times.
“If a child is throwing a tantrum, throwing chairs and causing injury to others, should a male educator just stand by and do nothing? No. Our responsibility is to ensure everyone’s safety. When I face such a situation, I hug the child to calm the child down.”
He pointed out that if any question or doubt arises, male educators should be confident in their ability to justify their actions. 
“Our priority is to de-escalate the situation and protect everyone. We should also ensure our female colleagues are present to witness the intervention.” 
Ultimately, even though gaining parents’ trust is important, Mr Hadi said that the true measure of their work is its quality.
“For example, about 10 years ago, I told a child not to use the word ‘fat’. Instead, I suggested using the word ‘big’. The child took this lesson to heart and shared it with his family. He is older now, but he still remembers it.”
Mr Hadi added that even small actions, such as reminding a child not to call others names, are part of how they shape the children’s behaviour and values.
Mr Malik agreed, noting that children are their best “promoters”.
“When we teach them well and create positive experiences in the classroom, they’ll tell their parents things like, ‘I love teacher Malik’ or ‘I love teacher Hisyam.’ This, in turn, helps build trust with the parents.”
Mr Malik said that the group not only connects male preschool teachers and provides support but also fosters friendships through regular social events.
Every two to three months, they host dinners and sports activities such as badminton and futsal games.
Support group member Gerald Chia Yong Kang, 24, who has been a preschool teacher for two years, said that he has not encountered a particularly difficult situation so far, but he appreciates the experiences and perspectives that are shared in the group whenever an issue arises.
“The group is great for tackling common challenges together. After sharing the issue, we will develop solutions and strategies to handle them in the classroom.”
Other preschool teachers, Shaun Cai, 37, and Jeremy Tan, 47, who both teach at Spark Education, said that they had not heard of the support group before this but would consider joining if there were counselling sessions and efforts to mitigate the stigma faced by male educators. 
In particular, Mr Tan said he would be interested in a group forum or one-on-one consultation on topics such as strategies for fostering effective learning in young children, and addressing the concerns of overprotective parents. 
On enacting change together, Mr Hadi said that their efforts caught the attention of ECDA. Today, the group is involved in the agency’s regular focus group discussions, gathering feedback from the ground to enhance support for preschool teachers. 
One goal that the group is working towards is establishing a partnership with the four founders’ alma mater Temasek Polytechnic and other educational institutions to offer mentorship to students pursuing a diploma in early childhood development and education.
Mr Noorhisyam, Mr Hadi and Mr Malik agreed that having a mentor with industry experience to guide them through the challenges of being a male preschool teacher would have been invaluable during their time as polytechnic students.
Mr Noorhisyam said: “We were only told some of the differences between male and female preschool teachers in class, but experiencing them in real life is so, so different.” 
Despite the hard knocks, he and his fellow male educators persevere because they find deep meaning in shaping the lives of young learners.
“I chose to stay because I believe this is my way of contributing and making a difference,” Mr Noorhisyam said.
“We often talk about wanting to change the world, so why not start with children? They’ll be the ones making the important decisions for the future.”
As for Mr Hadi, he said that his passion for early childhood education far outweighs the difficulties of being a male preschool teacher. 
He believes that children deserve diverse role models, and male preschool teachers can provide a different but equally valuable perspective in nurturing young minds. 
“My journey isn’t just about teaching. It’s also about advocating for a profession that needs more diversity and helping to break stereotypes, all while shaping the future for the next generation,” he said. 
“We want to prove to society that we are here for good, and that we are good enough to be here.”